When to Jump

We dream about moving to a larger property.  We’d like to move somewhere with enough acreage to house some livestock, with 10 or more acres.  We would love to build our own natural home or earth ship.  We would love to live off the grid.  The dream world looks so beautiful.  But when my bleary dreaming eyes begin to refocus, I see that we would have so much property to manage, many animals to care for, a home to retrofit (at the very least) or build at best.  All while Rob is working full time outside of the home, and I am very busy with three little ones.  This doesn’t even account for the extra monthly expenses, as acreage comes with a hefty price tag, both in the property value, but also in upkeep.

We have flopped back and forth on the issue so many times.  What should we do?  When should we move?  What about our current place?  We’ve already got something great, and we’re living in it!  Our house is awesome.  We’ve done a lot of work to make it lighter on the planet.  We have half an acre of property and the ability to keep chickens.  This fall, Rob planted the last tree to complete our forest garden guilds.  We have only had two of our trees produce fruit so far.  There is so much potential here that we’d be walking away from.  There are also all of the memories housed in these walls.  All three of my babies were born upstairs.  Emotionally I don’t know if I’m ready to leave.

But part of me wants to just jump!  Sometimes I feel like we’d be better off if we just did it.  Humans are wonderful at rising to a challenge.  I’m curious to see how quickly we could make our own safety nets.  But the realities of living with three little ones allow my practical side to step in, convincing me to wait with thoughts like, ‘How could we possibly build our own home?  I can’t even seem to get the laundry folded and put away!’

I enjoy looking at real estate online.  Somehow looking at properties makes me feel like I’m making change.  As my husband put it last night, it seems easier to sit on the computer looking at real estate and dreaming of how our lives could be than embracing the one we have.   Looking for a new property is shopping on a grander scale.  Voyeuristically looking at the lives of others through their homes pictured online is not helping anything.  On some level, I have the hope that I’ll find a new life for us which is somehow better than the one we’ve got here.  The truth is, I won’t.  I know this.  I know that happiness is created not bought.  So why do I keep doing this to myself?

In the end, I think it’s my impatience that is the problem; I’m wanting the progressions to have already been made, so that we could be in the position to make our leap successful.  I fear nothing more than making the leap then learning we were ill prepared, and ending up failing at our own dream.  Impatience and the ‘want it now’ mentality is so ever present in our society, especially at this time of year.  I find myself with yet another deep dredge of consumerist thought that I’m frustrated still exists in me.

So what we’ve decided is that we need to do the work to get ourselves ready to jump before we actually do.  We don’t want to end up with more debt and less time; this is the antithesis of our goal!  We have been working so hard to create space in our lives, not take it away.  So for us, it’s better to err on the side of caution, allowing ourselves the time and space to work out the details in advance.  In the meantime, I’m going to stay off of the realtor website and instead work on refining our holistic goal.  Our hope is to live in line with the intentions of our holistic goal, and wait for the universe to shape this into our reality.

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5 comments

  1. Don’t not do something you could regret! You will never be 100% ready! We set a five year plan when we decided to buy and move to our piece of land. That worked out really well for us. We did get a bit impatient, which caused a big step backwards, but 2015 would be year 5 so we are still on track. Decide if you want it for sure or not, and then decide how long you should wait. Good luck!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement!! We’re giving ourselves a year to solidify our holistic goal. We’re using “Holistic Management” by Allan Savory. Once we have that in place, next steps will be much easier to calculate. I think there are too many variables right now for us to be clear. While we wait for a few changes in our lives to settle, I want to pay attention to my mental/ emotional responses to moving…which weren’t all that pretty when I pressed into it in my writing today! So happy to hear you’re doing it!! We’ll see what the future holds for our little clan 🙂

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  2. I’ve been doing some deeper searching on happiness of late. Here’s the quote that stuck out at me in your post today:
    “As my husband put it last night, it seems easier to sit on the computer looking at real estate and dreaming of how our lives could be than embracing the one we have.”

    I think he’s got a great point, and one that transcends real estate. Whether it’s a job, home, relationship or something else, dreaming of a could be is taking time and energy away from what is. It makes us feel inadequate, somehow, in our current reality. My crutch is watching ‘House Hunters International’ and dreaming of moving to some tropical paradise… The dream seems beautiful, but the realities of turning that dream into a reality are things I don’t want to give up. I love living in Canada, and how the seasons change. I love my job (which would be difficult to do in the same way in another country) and I love my family and friends (which I would be moving far away from). So… is the dream as beautiful as imagined, with all the other factors in play? Perhaps my time would be better spent enjoying a walk in this mid-December chill, or calling a friend rather than watching a pseudo-dream on TV…

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    1. Yes…what seems easier in the short term is most often just a distraction. It serves as procrastination from what we actually want to be doing. I hadn’t made this connection to trolling real estate sites until my conversation with Rob the other night. Also, when I stopped to consider it as an activity, the correlation between searching for a new home/property and shopping put me right off. I am sometimes taken aback at how things can creep into my life seemingly innocently, but are reinforcing the very ideals I’m trying to reject. My goal is to just keep calling attention to it 🙂

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